Pope Benedict has shocked the world by announcing that he is abdicating. I note that the message was delivered in Latin, so there is a small but real possibility that something was lost in translation.
Let's hope the Pope didn't say: "I am just popping out to the shops", and on his return finds that the world's news media has set up camp in Saint Peter's Square just because he had run out of bread and milk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 of the most outrages things a Pope can do, abdicating is right up there with public support for gay marriage or the Pope saying: "Hey, why don't we have a woman Pope next?"
The last Pope to abdicate was some 600 years ago, so this is clearly a big deal. The world's news organisations have gone into a frenzy. The BBC breakfast show was no exception.
A live news feed at the bottom of the screen continuously fed the public news directly from the Vatican. Millions of people glued to their TV screens hoping to see the Pope enjoying his freedom from office by walking naked across Saint Peter's Square.
The BBC breakfast presenters explained that they were going to ask the all important questions: a) What was the Pope's legacy? and b) Who would be replacing him?
For those of you who did not see the BBC breakfast show, I can now reveal the shocking answers: a) Nothing noteworthy apart from his abdication and b) Most likely another out of touch pensioner, who can afford a fancy simmer-frame known as a popemobile.
Why out of touch you ask. Well let me put it this way.
The Pope, who I assume has not been married recently (If he has then that would clearly top the abdication story!), is telling man and woman all over the world how they should live their lives and plan their families or more to the point NOT plan their families by speaking out against the general use of condoms as if they were being promoted by a chain of family planning clinics run by the devil himself.
Okay I hear you. The Vatican has come out in support of condoms to "reduce the risk of infection" from AIDS. Time to celebrate! Let's crack open the alter wine and welcome the Pope and the Vatican to the 21st century.
And finally there is the small matter of guy relationships. As long as the Pope keeps on living in that big house with all those other men, he is not going to get much support from the gay community. Talk about throwing stones when you live in a glass house. :))
Anyway, I hope he enjoy's his retirement, should give him an opportunity to get out more, while a new 'Progressive Conservative' Pope aims to keep things just the way they are.
Hallelujah! Long live the Pope!