Saturday, 23 February 2013

Murder in the bathtub

Right, Simon and I are still in hiding in a small hotel in Devon in Exeter. 

I case you are wondering, we are not hiding from the Mafia, though it clearly would spice up an otherwise pretty dull day and add a gritty edge to my blog. Truth be told, I just couldn't face my five best girlfriends and their 1,546,983 questions about me and Simon.

We arrived just after 3:30 pm, and have stayed in the room watching telly. Weird how exciting it is to lie on a hotel bed, watching day-time TV, while raiding the small bags of free biscuits. I am a simpleton!

Eventually our attention was draw to an old man and woman shouting loudly in the room next door. We guessed that they were in the bathroom together as we could hear a lot of water being splashed about in their bathtub. The splashing went on and on, and so did the shouting.

As you do, we started to invent scenarios, which would explain the sounds reaching us through the wall. Here are the top four:

1) The old man is drowning his nagging wife in the bathtub. (I am not sure I find this one funny. It was Simon's suggestion, so I guess I have to be careful!)

2) The old man is training breaststroke, and his wife is timing him and encouraging him by continuously shouting at him.

3) The old man is taking a swim with this pet hippo. (Based on the amount of splashing going on this will most likely turn out to be true.)

4) The man and woman were enjoying a quiet bath together when one of them suddenly had a small  accident. Both are now desperately trying to get out of the tub without drinking the water.

Simon and I are going back to Bristol tomorrow. Before we get back I will need to explain to Simon what 'death by questioning' is all about, and who the executioners (Bev, Alison, Kathy, Sandra and Lisa) will be.

Crazy how frightening it can be to mix the girlfriend world with the boyfriend world.
But if I want both, which I do, then I have to be brave and bring the two together. 

Will let you know how I get on! Sleep tight.

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