Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Bev's Canadian manhunt

What a brilliant evening - if I may say so :))

I had invited my boyfriend Simon and my five best girlfriends - Bev, Kathy, Sandra, Lisa and Alison to dinner.

Sharing your food with others are a powerful way of putting everyone at ease. Exactly the sort of approach to take when introducing your boyfriend to a bunch of inquisitive (read: nosy) girlfriends for the first time.

So there we were. Spread out in my living room, some of us are sitting on the floor, while others had opted for a deep armchair. Each of us digging into a steaming hot bowl of stew served with crusty bread. The stew contained beef, which is quite a novel ingredient as most people these days seem to be serving up horse!

It does not take long before the first questions start to flow from the girls.
"So when did you to meet," asks Kathy while looking me straight in the eye.
Before I can answer, Bev is butting in.
"Simon dear, how large is your penis?"

Okay she didn't ask Simon that question, but she will eventually ask it of me, when she has me cornered. Possibly when I am next in the loo, which seems to be her favourite place to hang out when exchanging dirty secrets.

Between you and me, Bev is crazy about men. I mean real crazy! Once she went out with this Canadian guy, Luc, who dumped her after just two weeks. 
Right after the breakup Bev disappeared of the face of the earth for a week. We thought she had gone into hiding. Mending her broken heart by crying her eyes out, like 'normal' girls do. But no, not our Bev. 

It turned out that Luc had returned to his native Canada, and was not living permanently in England as he had suggested, I can only assume, to convince Bev that he would still be around after she had slept with him! 
After Bev had figured out that Luc had gone back home, she managed to track down the address of his parents, who lived in a suburb of Ottawa.  This must have cost her a fortune in long-distance phone calls.
Rather than just phone Luc's parents, she purchase a plane ticket, as you do when you have spare cash but not a lot of common sense, boarded the first plane to New York and from there travelled on to Ottawa.
I am still not sure what Bev hoped to achieve by travelling all that way. And I am pretty convinced that Bev remains completely in the dark on this point too.

After a lot of travelling, she eventually arrived at her destination. Luc's parents must have been rather surprised to see a jet lagged woman staggering up their drive way, while dragging a small suitcase behind her.
Even more so when she knocked on their front door and introduced herself as: "Hi, you don't know me, but I am Luc's girlfriend from England. Is Luc around?"

After she had helped both of them to their feet, she was apparently invited inside for a cup of coffee, while Luc's mum and dad enjoyed something a little stronger. 

As it turned out, Luc was not at home because he lived in a different part of Canada.
However, more disappointingly for Bev, Luc's mum and dad insisted that he did not have time to see her. 
After having returned from his short holiday in the UK, Luc had a pretty busy schedule on his hands. Not least because he was getting married in two weeks!
(There is nothing like a bit on the side before the wedding vows start to bite!)

After that revelation, Bev decided that it was in everyone's best interest if she called off her manhunt, as it was unlikely that the bride-to-be knowingly would be interested in sharing her husband either before or after the ceremony.

So Bev returned home empty handed. No Luc by her side, not even an invitation to the wedding, which seems a little mean if you ask me.

To be honest, I am not sure what I was so nervous about that I thought it was necessary to whisk Simon away to Devon. The girls behaved themselves very well all evening. 
Simon now knows who I hang out with, and the girls know who Simon is. Perfect :))

More beef stew anyone?

No comments:

Post a Comment