Saturday, 23 February 2013
A circling Shark and death by Car
Only God knows (and even He may be struggling!) how Bev figured out that I have got myself a boyfriend. She can almost certainly smell it, like a shark that can smell a few drops of blood from 5 kilometres away.
She phoned just before lunch, and one minute we are chatting about the weekend, the next she innocently asks: "So who is this new man in your life?"
I could feel panic setting in. The shark was circling and I knew where this was going.
Simon and I have only known each other a few weeks, and I am not quite ready to unveil him to Bev, Kathy, Alison, Sandra or Lisa.
If I tell Bev anything I might as well go on live radio and do it myself, and just for good measure write a front page article for the local newspaper at the same time. The effect will be the same. Everyone in Bristol will know. Some stranger will come up to me in the street and ask how Simon and I are getting on.
In short, Bev will tell Kathy, Alison, Sandra and Lisa, and from that point forward there is no knowing where it will stop. They seem to know everyone and a couple of them appear to live on Twitter and Facebook. Like a drip, it keeps them alive!
So I did the only thing I could do - I put the phone down! I know! Pretty stupid, right? Like trying to out-swim a starving great white with a pound of raw steak strapped to each leg.
Now Bev knows for sure!
I called Simon and explained to him that we were going away for the weekend.
Rather hesitating he asked: "When are we leaving?"
"Now, I am picking you up in 90 seconds"
"But I am having a bath," came his feeble reply.
"Come on Simon, how long can that possibly take?"
"Where are we going?" asked my dear, confused Simon sensibly. I could hear running water in the background.
"Are you still having a bath?" I replied slightly irritated.
"Well yes, but as soon as I put the phone down, I will get out."
(Don't you just wish that men just once in their lives would be able to multi-task!)
"Its a surprise," I lied. "See you in 5 minutes". I put the phone down.
By the time I had finished my short conversation with Simon, I had three missed calls, three SMSs and an email - all from the girls. I turned the phone off and quickly packed a few things in a bag before they started to form a queue by my front door.
In the end, we managed to slip away from Bristol and have found a little privacy in an old hotel in Exeter in Devon. (This is my first blog entry from Exeter :)) )
Simon seems very existed. He has told me that he loves me being so spontaneous about the whole thing. Whisking he away in February wrapped in just a towel doesn't seem to have dampened his spirits! Bless!
On a much more sobering matter. On the way down here, driving on some of the smaller country roads, we counted no less than seven badgers killed by cars.
I feel so terribly sad when I think about how many badgers must be killed all the time.
The UK Government has considered culling 80-90% of all badgers in some areas to help combat TB in cows. By the looks of it, they can just leave it to the average car owner, who seems to be doing a brilliant job.
What a waste!